I never owned a Sega console. I thought I’d come right out and say that, so there’s no confusion. I am not attached to Sonic; indeed, when I was growing up, Sonic was the enemy—the figurehead for those dark, unknown other children, playing their Genesis and carrying out Sega’s terrible bidding.
My encounters with Sonic—The Blue Satan—were largely exclusive to instances where I would commandeer my cousin’s Game Gear on thanksgiving. It had color; Tetris could not compete for my attention. Now I’m a little older and a little more polytheistic with regards to my console allegiances, but I still may not be the ideal test subject for the coherent nostalgia beam conjured by Sega’s latest Sonic release, the wholly digital Sonic 4.