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June 15, 2012

Review – Lollipop Chainsaw

Review Lollipop Chainsaw
Following in the Shakespearean tradition, Lollipop Chainsaw tells the tale of young love versus young angst, with a coming of age story featuring classic themes of satanic rock, zombie hordes, and one very peppy chainsaw wielding cheerleader.

Our heroine, Juliet Starling, refuses to let any of the unfolding chaos of the zombie apocalypse ruin her eighteenth birthday – from the decapitation of her high school sweetheart to the death of her perverted sensei, and certainly not the hordes of undead classmates tearing up the halls of San Romero High School.

Confident and true, Juliet isn’t interested in hearing from the villains responsible, because they suck.

Instead, she fires up her chainsaw and slices her way through six stages of the undead, with all roads leading to the bosses at the heart of the turmoil. That very little seems capable of darkening Juliet’s day could perhaps be read as commentary on the youth of today, except that there are easy parallels to the self-absorbed Buffy Summers from 1992’s Buffy the Vampire Slayer, a film that certainly provides plenty of foundation for Juliet’s adventure here.

With that in mind, it seems more apt to say that the kids are still alright, insofar as being partly crazed and entirely ready for zombies at the drop of a hat makes them right as rain in the pop culture stew Grasshopper Manufacture stirs and serves a heaping bowl of here.

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May 22, 2012

Review – Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episode 2

Filed under: Reviews — Tags: , , , , , , , , , — Jason Westhaver @ 9:04 am

Review Sonic 4 Episode 2
Let’s not beat around the bush; Sonic 4: Episode I was a major disappointment. Despite its build up as Sonic’s triumphant return to form, the game lacked just about everything that made the original Genesis titles fun. The art style was uninspired and had a glossy sheen, the levels and bosses were rehashes of earlier works, and the physics system made the speedy hedgehog handle like a drunk duck.

Fortunately Sega has FINALLY listened to the complaints, and for the first time in more than a decade delivered a Sonic game that fans of all ages should actually enjoy.

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April 11, 2012

Review – The Splatters

Filed under: Reviews — Tags: , , , , — TJ "Kyatt" Cordes @ 1:06 pm

Review The Splatters
Gathering fragments from the storyline offered, Splatters are some hybrid race that is half booger and half Angry Bird (alternate title for game: Angry Boogs), and they’re filled with a liquid that can detonate like-colored bombs.

Knowing they are not long for this world, and that the sight of said bombs bursting in air will bring much enjoyment to others, they decide to record themselves while confined in a framework made of random household objects tied together, and stylishly fling their bodies at these bombs in one last mutually destructive hurrah.

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April 4, 2012

Review – Diabolical Pitch

Review Diabolical Pitch
Grasshopper Manufacture’s first kick at the Kinect gives players a solid footing to stand on, bringing the action to them rather than asking that they flail their limbs wildly to move through environments – possibly while shouting “look ma, no hands!”

This doesn’t lessen the physical workout by any means, as four consecutive days of throwing imaginary baseballs at my television has left my body broken. I persisted in working through the pain of strained muscles however, partly because I wanted an achievement for throwing a faster pitch, but also because Diabolical Pitch is the most replayable experience available on the Kinect – or at least the most replayable experience that doesn’t ask you to dance in time to Lady Gaga.

Players step into the cleats of star pitcher McAllister, who loses the use of his pitching arm after his greatest game, and then mysteriously arrives at Queen Christine’s Dreamland, where he is given a prosthetic pitching arm and offered the chance to make all his dreams come true by a somewhat melancholic cow.

If that sounds a bit odd, expect things to get far more bizarre. And welcome back to a delightful place we know simply as the Grasshopper Zone.

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March 24, 2012

Review – Ninja Gaiden 3

Filed under: Reviews — Tags: , , , , , , , , — Jamie Love @ 1:25 pm

Review Ninja Gaiden 3
Ryu Hayabusa’s latest outing opens on a briefly disorienting note that left me anticipating the worst.

Players begin as an unknown victim, looking up at Ryu before suddenly finding themselves able to control his movements – leaping from a balcony to slice into an enormous glowing deity with a series of obligatory quick-time prompts in tow. This quick sequence of events will make sense once players have come full circle, chasing a well financed doomsday cult across the globe, but it did little to ease the cynicism I admittedly brought to Team Ninja’s latest addition to the Ninja Gaiden franchise, and seemed to give merit to the scorn critics have been heaping on the title since its release.

However, the game shifts gears rather quickly, with Ryu responding to a terrorist group demanding his presence, and leaping into the streets of London to slice through the first of many soldiers offered two days of fast paced action I’ve gladly sunk my blade into.

This doesn’t entirely take away from complaints that the title is too straightforward and simplistic – because it definitely is – but rather that the truth of those accusations offers up an experience that is still inviting. Setting the game to normal difficulty presented some occasional bottlenecks, particularly during later stages, and aside from evading or blocking before slashing repeatedly, the nearly non-existent learning curve allowed me to keep the momentum of the story moving along quite nicely, which was appreciated since I actually enjoyed the story – no one is more shocked than I am about that.

There are plenty of legitimate complaints to lodge throughout the experience, and yet this straightforward affair finds a still pleasurable balance between ludicrous action sequences that feel empowering and overwhelming swarms of enemies that are often rather satisfying to slash a path through.

And insofar as others have no complaints about running around with Nathan Drake as he shoots countless mercenaries ad nausea whilst solving a few puzzles before wrapping up another adventure, I’ve still found a reasonable amount of entertainment on this trip with Ryu as he slices through helicopters, spider tanks and an obligatory dinosaur.

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March 23, 2012

Review – Kid Icarus: Uprising

Filed under: Reviews — Tags: , , , , , , , — Jamie Love @ 6:29 am

Review Kid Icarus Uprising
Starting this review off by confessing that the act of playing Kid Icarus: Uprising causes my hands a great deal of pain is a frustrating situation. For every positive point I’ve discovered within the game, and for every reason that keeps me returning to the newest 3DS release from Nintendo, my hands ache that much worse for the extended sessions.

Assigning controls to the upper one side of the 3DS leaves my pinky fingers dangling while the rest of my fingers work to hold the weight of the system, and playing through the game’s plethora of stages finds those digits going numb, kicking off a painful throbbing that moves up my hands the longer I play and forcing me to break repeatedly from Pit’s sprawling adventure sooner than I’d like.

Playing Kid Icarus: Uprising is quite a bit like being offered a bowl of your favorite ice cream, and then being told to eat it with a steak knife. The task is not impossible, and many delicious sensations are waiting to be experienced, but the process is going to leave you scarred – in this case with wretched claws where your hands once were.

And the pain extends further, because no matter what one says about the content of the game, of which there is a great deal to be discovered, this issue of control keeps presenting a barrier that prevents me from enjoying the experience as much as I otherwise might.

While I suspect that many others will share my pain after taking flight with Pit, I can’t assume everyone will suffer the same experience however – perhaps some of you are monkey bar champions and can take down a bear with your fingers. And it’s also worth noting that despite the complaint, I keep returning to the game to cause untold damage to my digits, which certainly speaks to the quality of the content.

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March 21, 2012

Review – Sine Mora

Review Sine Mora
Time is the fire in which we burn, and pilots seeking to survive the hazardous skies of Sine Mora will want to cling to every fading ember for the chance to learn why the flame that burns half as long also burns twice as bright.

The joint 2D side-scrolling shooter from Digital Reality and Grasshopper Manufacture places the emphasis entirely on that flickering flame, with a time clock often reserved for boss battles in other shooters continually ticking down throughout the entirety of this game.

Make no mistake, every second within Sine Mora counts, because allowing time to slip away is the only way to die.

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