November 4, 2010

Return of the Review – Vanquish

Filed under: Reviews — Tags: , , , , , , , , , — Brad Johnson @ 5:15 pm

In my capacity as a Sugarperson, I really only serve two functions: sometimes I manufacture prettiness in an effort to make it appear that the site was not, in fact, designed in my basement, and other times I play games, and then I tell you about them. This is one of those times. As tasks go, it is not the worst one could hope for. In fact, the only way it could be better is if it caused the numbers on my bank account to increase, or perhaps if writing overly long sentences made me irresistible to nerd girls.

Vanquish is a game that, upon playing, I was compelled to fulfill this second duty; to write words and deliver them to you, so that you might understand their meaning. Accordingly, in addition to our regular review of Vanquish, I am here to provide a rare second opinion. Let’s begin: if anyone tells you that Vanquish is not worth playing, your duty is clear. Cut this person out of your life forever, as this person is a liar who wishes only misfortune upon you. If, after taking this action, you still doubt the value of Vanquish, I suggest the following: visit youtube, and search for “Casshern.” When you come to the inevitable realization that “There should be a videogame of this,” return here, and I will present to you, Vanquish.


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