April 11, 2012

Review – The Splatters

Filed under: Reviews — Tags: , , , , — TJ "Kyatt" Cordes @ 1:06 pm

Review The Splatters
Gathering fragments from the storyline offered, Splatters are some hybrid race that is half booger and half Angry Bird (alternate title for game: Angry Boogs), and they’re filled with a liquid that can detonate like-colored bombs.

Knowing they are not long for this world, and that the sight of said bombs bursting in air will bring much enjoyment to others, they decide to record themselves while confined in a framework made of random household objects tied together, and stylishly fling their bodies at these bombs in one last mutually destructive hurrah.


February 14, 2012

The Zombie Apocalypse Is Metal

Filed under: Editorial Rants — Tags: , , , , , , , — TJ "Kyatt" Cordes @ 11:45 am

Metal Dead
Making short work of explaining its title, Metal Dead begins with two friends in a car cranking heavy metal music while trying to escape an outbreak of zombies.

The way these two characters talk about the zombie apocalypse being a heavy metal dream come true, I was fully expecting this point and click adventure game to contrarily be a sobering tale of how such an incident is not cool at all, and is the last situation that anybody would realistically want to endure.

In a way, Metal Dead does defy romanticizing the idea of being one of the few human survivors among hordes of the living dead, but in a much zanier way than expected.


January 31, 2012

Review – Scarygirl

Filed under: Reviews — Tags: , , , , , , , — TJ "Kyatt" Cordes @ 8:59 am

Review Scarygirl
Scarygirl is a new downloadable title based on a Flash game, in-turn based on a graphic novel. I’m not that familiar with either, but a few levels into the game prompted a startling realization – Scarygirl reminds me a lot of another game I’ve been playing recently. That game, for the curious, is Kirby’s Epic Yarn.

How are the two games similar?

Let me count the ways…


November 29, 2011

Review – Jurassic Park: The Game

Filed under: Reviews — Tags: , , , , — TJ "Kyatt" Cordes @ 8:06 pm

Review Jurassic Park The Game
Remember that knife fight against Krauser in Resident Evil 4, the one that consisted entirely of quick time events? Have you ever wondered what it would be like if Krauser had been a bunch of dinosaurs, and the fight lasted several hours while being interrupted by inconsequential dialogue trees?

I’m guessing no given that if that had been the case, I sure as hell wouldn’t be wistfully mentioning RE4 at the beginning of a review once again.

Alas, my bizarre question is rooted in reality with the release of Jurassic Park: The Game, Telltale’s newest episodic movie-to-adventure game adaptation. Events unfold around the time period of the first film courtesy of a new cast of characters; some of whom work on the island, some of whom are mercenaries flying to the island to evacuate that first batch of people, and still others are sneaking onto the island to retrieve the million dollar Barbasol can full of dinosaur embryos that Nedry was trying to steal at the epicenter of this dino-disaster. In fact, ol’ Newman himself is the only character from the movie to appear in the game, though only as a mangled and faceless corpse.

For the record, there actually is a QTE-driven knife fight between one of the mercenaries and a Velociraptor, which turns out to be pretty awesome.


November 9, 2011

Review – BurgerTime: World Tour

Review BurgerTime World Tour
BurgerTime: World Tour is a re-imagining of the arcade classic BurgerTime. Both games feature a chef named Peter Pepper, who must climb a series of Donkey Kong-style girders in order to assemble giant hamburgers – by walking on their vertically aligned ingredients in order to push them downward, all while avoiding an army of living man-sized food.

In almost every other regard, however, these are two radically different games.

BurgerTime is a lot like Resident Evil, in that both are games of survival and conservation of ammo in the face of hordes of the reanimated dead, the difference being that the deceased in BurgerTime were first pickled, or ground into sausages.

Hold on, I’m going somewhere with this…

With that comparison in mind, BurgerTime: World Tour is the Resident Evil 4 of the series, in which the protagonist is instead constantly armed to the teeth and stumbling upon more firepower than he can use. Once again, it is a controversial move, but for BurgerTime, the change isn’t as successful.


November 3, 2011

Review – The War of the Worlds

Filed under: Reviews — Tags: , , , — TJ "Kyatt" Cordes @ 12:26 am

Review War of the Worlds
About a decade ago, when I first played the Dreamcast classic, Seaman, I was greeted by the voice of Leonard Nimoy. At this point, I was under the assumption that any game could be made great by adding narration from a Star Trek character.

Then I played The War of the Worlds on XBLA.

I think the difference is that, while Nimoy’s role was buried under the fact that the game was about a fish-man that you talked to with a microphone peripheral, The War of the Worlds wears the fact that Sir Patrick Stewart narrates it like a badge of honor – a shiny badge on an over-starched and uncomfortable jacket.

The War of the Worlds is about a British man named Arthur, who resists an alien force that wishes to dominate and destroy the Earth. I think his last name is Dent, but I could be wrong.

Wait, it’s Clarke – Arthur Clarke – a man who must flee from genocidal Martian technology, destroy it, find his family, and do it all while narrating his journey with the gravitas of Captain Picard. In his role as narrator, Sir Patrick Stewart doesn’t disappoint with his vivid yet bleak descriptions of the incoming Martian invasion, maintaining a tone of awe-stricken despair throughout. Trust me, if the gameplay were half as good as the voice acting, this would be a real gem of a title.

Unfortunately… well, I have a few paragraphs about the graphics before I can start tearing this thing down.


October 26, 2011

Review – The Blackwell Deception

Filed under: Reviews — Tags: , , — TJ "Kyatt" Cordes @ 10:27 pm

Review Blackwell Deception
A while back, I was asked if I wanted to review an upcoming point and click adventure game called The Blackwell Deception. Before deciding, the first thing I did was check out the trailer for the game. Twenty nine seconds in, I said “holy crap, did that ghost just shoot that other ghost?! Sign me up!”

Unfortunately, the ghost shooting is not as rampant as I was hoping, but The Blackwell Deception is still an interesting and visually striking supernatural adventure.


« Newer PostsOlder Posts »

Powered by WordPress