December 5, 2010

The Best Game of Never – The Devil’s Robot

Filed under: Features — Tags: , , , , , , , — Brad Johnson @ 8:24 pm

In our continuing mission to explore strange new worlds, seek out new life and—er, no, that’s something else. In our continuing mission to bring you the latest best most amusing video game nonsense, we here at Gamesugar offer you our latest discovery: the best game you never played.

We first discovered the existence of The Devil’s Robot (Check out the cartridge!) in an advertisement in the back of an obscure comic book published in August of 1993. As internet demagogues of some repute, we sent out word that we were seeking a copy of this mysterious artifact, and it was not long before one of our loyal subjects responded. Apparently only distributed for six days in 1993, The Devil’s Robot is an RPG/Action/Platforming/Racer that sees the protagonist, SCIENCEMAN, navigating a post-apocalyptic wasteland, evading the attacks of the Devil’s Robot. The object of the game is to acquire the knowledge and artifacts to finally build SCIENCEMAN’s own terrifying robot construct to destroy the devil.

As the game begins, the opening text crawl reads:

In the beginning, there was the Devil, and the Devil existed alone, bored and complacent for time immemorial, until came the day when the Devil said “Nay! I shall build a world of horrors, and I shall create man to struggle and toil and be afraid!”

And the Devil watched as man struggled, and was afraid—and the Devil laughed. But man, who did wield the power of reason, surmounted the horrors of the Earth and flourished, and there came a time when man ruled the world that the Devil had so carefully crafted.

The Devil watched as man defied him and his world of horrors, and he did say “Nay! I shall build a robot! A robot that I will send to Earth to commit horrors, and end the age of man!”

And so the Devil’s Robot came upon the Earth with his horrors, and man fell, and was afraid—and all hope appeared lost. Man cried, looking to the heavens, and prayed for God to save the Earth, but heaven was home to only the Devil, who laughed at what his robot had wrought. For a time, the rule of the Devil’s Robot was absolute—until from the broken and huddled masses of man came a lone figure who did say “Nay! I am not afraid, for I have science! I shall build my own robot and send it to the heavens to end the Devil’s regime!”

And the Devil was afraid.

If you’re looking for a dose of stunning, terrifying 16-bit glory, seek out a copy of this rare classic before the price sky rockets in the wake of this Earth-shattering article.

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